white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
