Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
