If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
