this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
