I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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