Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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