I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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