It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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