i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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