My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
