So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
