I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
