it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
