It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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