420 ftw
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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