My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
