she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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