Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
