so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
