Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
