i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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