Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
is wine microwaveable?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
