she looked like the before picture.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
