some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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