You really coming over, don't trick.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
