Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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