i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I cut my penus on the lid.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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