It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
