Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
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