We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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