Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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