a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
