guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
