if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
