i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fuck appropriateness.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
