Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
When are your genitals available?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
