Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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