Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
