Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
