she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
