Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
