is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
