i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
