Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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