At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i drank out of a bidet.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
