Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
