Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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