Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
our cab driver is having phone sex.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
