Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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