Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
