the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i was born a porn star she said
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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