I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
