Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
