Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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